Dear Mexican: What is the reason for the colors of the Mexican flag? Is there any razón it resembles the Italian flag, minus the águila y serpiente? Conozco más mexicanos que estadounidenses, pero none of mis ‘manitos morenos seem to know why… El Girafe Dear Male Giraffe Gabacho: Good for you…
Dear Mexican: I was in a taco shop in the bathroom stall and saw your racist dribble in La Prensa San Diego (the paper was being used as ass-wipe, I guess). Whatever you say or write will always be foreshadowed by the fact that you and all the dark-skinned Mexis…
Dear Readers: The Mexican is currently smuggling mescal out of Oaxaca and into hipster bars nationwide, and thus is serving you two oldies but goodies. But first, I want to give a shout-out to Olympic silver medalist Leo Manzano, a former undocumented immigrant who’s turning out to be the greatest…
Dear Mexican: So often when we see Mexican bands perform in the U.S. and Mexico, the crowd at some point starts chanting “Cu-le-ro!” (“Asshole!”) Why does the crowd yell “Cu-le-ro!” at a band that they seemingly adore and paid a lot of money to see perform? Even fellow Latinos are…
Dear Mexican: I’m a Mexican-American high school student, and just as patriotic as the Joneses who live next to me. In my neighborhood, a gabacho got mad when someone hung a Mexican flag and ended up cutting it down. I think this whole idea of putting one’s flag up and…
Dear Mexican: I know I might sound like a gabacho borracho, but I’m really just a gringo trying to make progress toward getting work legally in Mexico, a side of the immigration debate we rarely hear about. Most gringos that move to Mexico are students at UNAM, or they are…
Dear Mexican: I was wondering about the Spanish going into Mexico and taking the gold and artifacts away from the Indians. Could the Mexican government ask for the gold back? What do you think? Raider of the Lost Chonis Dear Mexican: Why doesn’t Mexico’s president demand that all nations and/or…
Dear Mexican: Magdalena has worked for me many years — fifteen, to be exact. She came over as a mojada with her two little girls when they were four and six. The girls went to school, but only until middle school, because they are undocumented; they can’t get a job…
Dear Mexican: Suppose the United States government and the American public were as progressive and conscious of our country’s true self-interest as are, for example, many European countries, and suppose this had been true in the decades immediately following World War II, when Northern and Western Europe subsidized the development…
Dear Mexican: Barack Hussein Obama, how you dare deprive Mexico of its young, educated people. These illegal aliens in the U.S. are the only hope for Mexico, and you want to keep them here in the U.S.. They could start businesses, create jobs and improve the standard of living for…
Special shout-out to: Metropolitan State College of Denver (soon to be Metropolitan State University of Denver), which lowered tuition rates for undocumented students who have lived in Colorado for much of their lives after the Colorado Legislature refused to pass a bill that would’ve done the same. I had the…
Dear Mexican: I’m in this country illegally, but I have a current passport from the country I am from, and I have an international driver’s license. I could not renew my California driver’s license after my travel visa expired. Occasionally, I fly commercially within the U.S., and these docs are…
A couple of years back, I put four white supremacists in prison. They had made the mistake of going into the Slater Slums of Huntington Beach, the city’s traditional barrio, to kill a random Mexican. They got as far as stabbing a man before the Slater Slums smackdown began: The…
Dear Mexican: I work construction here in Texas. The mojados at work call me “Chicano” (which really angers me) to make fun of me, and I reply to them by saying, “¡México, bien por su gente!” This leads to debates that the Hispanic population will be the majority of the…
Dear Mexican: Why can’t the United States and Mexico agree on one only name for the Rio Bravo/Grande river? And I don’t understand why the Americans lo dice in español. Marfa Maven Dear Wabette: The Mexican is a Californian by the grace of God, so doesn’t dare tread the intellectual…
I’m coming to Denver! Gentle cabrones, my much-promised Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America has finally hit bookstores, and I’ll be in town at the end of this month to talk tacos. Mark your calendars for 6 p.m. Wednesday, May 30, when the real fiesta comes down at Su…
Dear Readers: I usually don’t allow anyone to hijack this columna, but an exception must be made for California State Assembly member Gil Cedillo. He’s been fighting the good fight for decades, recently trying to get driver’s licenses for illegal immigrants and ceaselessly supporting DREAMers. Cedillo was so moved by…
Dear Mexican: I’m getting sick and tired of all these dirty, stupid Mexicans running around. The first part is easy: As Mr. Dicks says in David Copperfield when asked what to do with David, “Why, bathe him.” The second part could be just as easy: Pay them to learn English…
Dear Mexican: I am a twenty-year-old, tall, slender, blond Jewish Russian-American; he is a 24-year-old, short, muscular Mexican. At face value, you would never think we would work well, but we do. I started to love him. He’s the most unique person I have ever met. He is never down,…
Dear Mexican: How come there are a bunch of fair-skinned, European-looking guys running Mexico? When I am in Mexico, I see them having power lunches in fine restaurants, driving Beemers and escorting absolutely breathtaking women with long legs and high cheekbones around town. Who are these guys? How can I…
Gentle cabrones: My much-promised Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America, has finally hit bookstores! Place your order with your favorite local bookstore, your finer online retailers, your craftier piratas, but place it: My libro editor has already promised to deport me from the publishing industry if we don’t sell…
Dear Mexican: Why do Hispanics deny that George Zimmerman is Hispanic? He did nothing wrong and has been crucified in the media. La Raza cannot bow down to the race-baiters and race traitors who call themselves African-American leaders! Brown and Down Dear Wab: This column is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not…
