The Truck Stops Here

My buddy Gracie and I have this map — a U.S. highway diagram torn from the front of an old Rand McNally atlas, showing all of the major interstate routes spooling out across the fruited plain. From I-95’s start in Florida’s malarial salt bogs to the terminus of I-90 in…

The Answer Man

Questions for “Ask the Critic” have come from all corners of the restaurant cosmos this month. A sampling: Q: Enough about Sean Kelly. Whatever happened to Denver’s other famous chef named Sean — Sean Yontz? I know that Vega closed, but is he cooking anywhere now? — Michael A: Good…

Drink of the Week

Vodka Mortini Morton’s 1710 Wynkoop Street 303-825-3353 Shaken, not stirred — James Bond was on the money. Scientists at the University of Western Ontario have found that shaking a martini increases the antioxidant activity in the drink, which in turn reduces the drinker’s risk of cataracts, strokes and cardiovascular diseases…

Drunk of the Week

When you wake up after a night of carousing, two questions should emerge from your clouded mind: 1) Where am I? 2) Who am I with? After our visit to the Denver Tech Center’s b>Purple Martinib> (8000 East Belleview Avenue, Greenwood Village), I placed an urgent wake-up call to the…

Simple Pleasures

Japanese cartoons are lysergic-acid freak shows of giant robots and big-eyed children, blinking lights and talking cats, and jumpy, herky-jerky dancing-root vegetables. Japanese porno is vile and fetishistic. Japanese punk music is ten times more screechy and primal than that of any teenage American garage band — often reduced to…

Bite Me

While out wandering a few weeks ago, I stumbled across the Bugling Bull Trading Post out on Highway 67, west of Sedalia, where I had one of the best orders of country-style ribs of my young life. Granted, I wasn’t looking for ribs: I’d muscled the car off the road…

Drink of the Week

After a game of golf out by DIA, friends suggested a drink at the nearest bar: Outback Steakhouse. Hey, any port in a storm. But the second I stepped inside, my disdain for mid-level chain restaurants came flooding back like a repressed memory. Can someone please explain to me how…

Drunk of the Week

Happy hour is one of the greatest inventions in history. If you’re really honest with yourself, I think you’ll agree that only wide-screen TVs, frozen pizza rolls, propane barbecue grills and Victoria’s Secret compare. And like the last of these, happy hours have had a major social impact, giving first…

Patty Melt

Cheeseburgers are the single most recognizable American contribution to the world culinary scene (and, according to a monument on Speer Boulevard, an actual Denver invention). They’re also the ideal thing to eat on a blazing-hot afternoon. So last week when the temperature hit 97 degrees, I hit the road for…

Bite Me

What can I tell you? Clair de Lune is definitely not going to make it through the summer.” I’ve been waiting for this call for weeks. Not sitting by the phone, exactly, but knowing it’s coming. And when it does, it’s like hearing that the relationship is finally over. Like…

Consumed

Her father may have seen “Fire and Rain,” but food prepared by Sally Taylor never sees a flame. Or a pot of boiling water, for that matter. Since opening Sally in the Raw last month, Taylor — the daughter of James Taylor and Carly Simon, and a musician in her…

Drink of the Week

A large Buddha behind the bar in the Tom Tom Room, formerly the site of Tommy Tsunami’s, was supposed to be enveloped in smoke, but after a few sputters and grunts, it was clear that the Buddha had performance anxiety. Happily, this was the only performance problem I experienced at…

Drunk of the Week

LoDo has bars for every mood. I have a favorite or two where, during football season, I start pouring down Bloody Marys at 11 a.m. Although they are harder to find, a few other LoDo venues are guaranteed to inspire such a night of debauchery that you want to drive…

Boulder Blahs

There are a few things that I like about Boulder and many that I don’t. For example, it bothers me that Boulder exists where it does, snugged up tight against the base of the Flatirons, frantically humping the leg of a mountain range that would be that much more splendid…

Bite Me

Just another bistro. You have no idea how much those three words piss me off. Just another bistro. How did the restaurant industry get so jaded that those three words would ever seem thinkable, much less appropriate? While eating at The Kitchen (see review), I somehow stumbled blindly across one…

Drink of the Week

In Mexico, I do what every travel guide tells you not to do — I eat food bought on the street. Have I gotten sick? Yes, very. Was it worth it? Absolutely. At the restaurants that cater to the vacationing hordes, you can’t find any of this street fare –…

Drunk of the Week

Q: What does the Institute of Drinking Studies recommend after a monumentally bad week? A week that leaves you bruised, battered and trying to get the footprints off your back from life running roughshod over your carcass? A week where the only thing that keeps you going is the thought…

Adventures in Eating

I believe that life, in all its brutish, stupid grandeur, is the ultimate extreme sport. Forget mountain biking, snowboarding and base jumping. You just haven’t lived until you’ve Indian leg-wrestled a hungry Russian grandmother over the last fistful of peel-and-eat shrimp bobbing in the melted ice at a Chinese buffet,…

Bite Me

Shrimp and chicken shao mai; steamed duck spring rolls dipped in warm soy; short ribs with red onions in a scallop sauce; a whole striped bass, split, head and tail mounted on opposite ends of the plate and served with the tender filets soaking in a gingered soy broth. While…

Drink of the Week

I hated all card games as a kid, but the true bane of my existence was the mind-numbing Go Fish. Even before I started losing brain cells from a combination of booze, age and bad genes, memory was never one of my strengths. And now the Go Fish Grille –…

Drunk of the Week

Every day, it becomes increasingly obvious that those in power count on citizen apathy to let them skate by with policies that pander to special interests and are out of touch with the average American. How else can you explain the continued presence of Katie Couric and Oprah; 24-hour news…

Send in the Crowds

Saturday night should be busy. Cute place like this, good food, service that’s old-American doting without being old-French smothering — Dario’s Restaurant should be running the edge of a full house, playing the curve of table turns so that every party leaving brushes shoulders with the next one coming through…