Pisco Sour

Welcome to www.matchmycocktail.com. Uncommitted drinker who loves to laugh and imbibe looking for unconventional cocktail at new hotspot of chef Alex Gurevich, also of Café Bisque. Turn-ons: big glass containers filled with rum and vodka infused with ginger, coconut, honey and citrus. My perfect first rendezvous would include delectable drinks…

Olive Garden Italian Restaurant

Suburban life is tough these days. Although we were hooligans growing up, the only things that could get us in trouble hadn’t changed much since our parents were young. So the run-ins with booze, sex, dangerous/moronic driving, gateway drugs, mild vandalism (no mailbox within a ten-mile radius of our neighborhood…

Scorpion Bowl

Party like my grandma! When I asked my mother if she wanted to try Steuben’s, she wondered aloud, “Why does that name sound so familiar to me?” And when we walked into this new restaurant on 17th Avenue, it came to her: When my mom was a little girl growing…

Wahoo’s Fish Taco

The Food and Drug Administration should start requiring warning labels, or at least ingredient lists, on all margaritas. This would undoubtedly decrease work days lost, liver-transplant rates for those of us not lucky enough to be upstanding Americans like David Crosby or Larry Hagman, and the volume of next-day bleating…

Cherry Squirt Martini

I’ll have the bread pudding — hold the bread. A male friend of mine recently told me that, knowing what he knows about men, he’d eat only two Ritz crackers a day if he were a woman. During lunch at Bambino’s with a girlfriend, we took his misogynistic advice to…

Tavern Downtown

We were ready for some simple fun after a month of international rivalries during which we’d suffered through: more than 1.2 trillion scoreless minutes; 6,752 totally wrong goalie guesses on penalty kicks; 800,967 unnecessary instances of a goalie leaving his feet for an easy save or an obvious wide shot;…

Sloth

I’m well aware of the seven deadly sins, and while exploring Slim Seven, I saw them all. Pride: The lack of signage for the new bar seems to indicate a certain amount of self-importance, which I love. In fact, finding Slim Seven is part of its charm, since the entrance…

Angelo’s Pizza Parlor

I’m more than a little surprised that we made it to the movies the other night. Typically, when we plan an Institute Movie Night, we are no more likely to actually reach the theater than the space shuttle is to launch on time. One reason for this is our strong…

Le Citadelle Martini

In the summer, sitting on a patio drinking a martini is the adult equivalent of going to the pool as a kid. The first sip always gives me the same delicious feeling I had as a child when the lifeguard screamed, “Adult swim is over! Kids can re-enter the pool!”…

The Thin Man

Those of you at the Thin Man (2015 East 17th Avenue) two Fridays ago had no idea you were witnessing a momentous emergency session of the Institute of Drinking Studies. The scene harked back to Cold War Europe, where plans and plots were made in back hallways — which is…

China Poblana

The Rooftop Lounge at Tamayo is one of the most pleasant places in town to grab a cocktail — both for the view and for the margaritas. When I took my first sip of the peculiar yet tasty China Poblana ($10), made with Jose Cuervo Tradicional, fresh tangerine juice and…

The Tavern Lowry

I am happy to announce that a new bar, The Tavern Lowry (7401 East First Avenue), has broken the record for the largest-ever Institute of Drinking Studies bar tab — and this despite the conspicuous absence of a few members. The Tavern had been open only a few days when…

Jet Lag

Behind the velvet ropes: When I lived in New York, I loved making up stories that would get me past the bouncer at a crowded bar. In a city full of professional doormen, I quickly learned that “My friend is inside and has my keys” only worked if they were…

Brothers BBQ

I do a lot of ragging on Texas, especially this time of year, when temperatures there range between the levels of Saudi Arabia, Hell (not that those places are dissimilar) and 576 Kelvin. Saudi Arabia and Hell are actually a lot nicer than Texas, since they have what’s called a…

Bivans

When I booked our wedding festivities in Beaver Creek, I had thought it was the setting for one of the greatest movies of all time, Dumb and Dumber. The morning of our departure, I tore open the Netflix envelope holding said movie, popped it in the DVD player and fast-forwarded…

Blueberry “Martini”

Blueberry “Martini” Chama 425 South Teller Street, Lakewood 303-935-5170 When I suggested that we go to Chama for cocktails, I heard audible gasps from my friends, followed by the typical urbanite questions: “Isn’t that far away?” “Isn’t that in Lakewood?” “Isn’t it all chain restaurants out there?” Somehow I managed…

Diesel Store

I’d always thought it took three miracles to become a saint, but recent research determined that had I been martyred — say, by an Institute of Drinking Studies member for letting the Denver community at large in on his immature yet hilarious antics — I would need only one. And…

Pineapple Mojito

Oh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants! Ocean, the reincarnation of Mao that opened earlier this month, may be the bluest place in Denver. Not sad blue, but true blue. And with a bubbling sign, blue-tinged everything and a very upscale yet tranquil feeling, this restaurant…

Village Inn

There is little doubt that the down-home, deep-fried goodness of the Cherry Creek Village Inn (222 Columbine Street) saved several members of the Institute of Drinking Studies the other night. The cholesterol shoved down our gullets at a rapid rate was the only reason any of us even had the…

Jose Cuervo Oranjo, Orange Juice & Soda

Jimbob always looked like a caged tiger behind the bar at the Denver ChopHouse. It was clear to everyone that while he was a good — no, a great — bartender, these were not his people. As polite and teddy-bearish as he was, you could tell that Jimbob was a…

Oblio’s Pizzeria

Short of ice cream, Guinness and bourbon, there’s no better comfort food than pizza. A good pie will glisten with a sheen of grease over a thick layer of cheese and the meat of your choice (vegetables may be present for color and a hint of flavor, but they should…

190 Octane

Gas prices are over the top, but alternative-energy folks say we can save fossil fuels by harnessing energy from such sources as the sun and the wind. I recently set out to absorb some energy from both on the rooftop deck of the Tavern Downtown and wound up making my…