Lillet Martini

Ça c’est bon. Is there anything more charming than finding a quaint French bistro in a neighborhood where you don’t expect it? Mais non! A decade ago, any restaurant that dared to open in this part of town had to feature chips and salsa on its menu; two decades before…

Pub on Pearl

Several members of the Institute of Drinking Studies — all definite throwbacks — met recently at a very manly and friendly throwback of a tavern, the Pub on Pearl (1101 South Pearl Street). This small bar is nestled on a corner near where Pearl Street meets I-25, conveniently close to…

Drinking Vicariously Through You

Who’d think a shot called Don’t Name Your Fucking Kid After Me would lead to a tongue-in-cheek throw-down? After I wrote about that concoction a few weeks ago, I heard from Carl Johansen, the good-natured fellow who says he not only invented the shot when he was at Herman’s, but…

Applebee’s

The other night I ducked into Target to get some razors made of a rare metal that dulls after one shave, despite a per-ounce price that’s higher than platinum. While struggling through aisles of cheap lingerie that still grab any guy’s eye (don’t tell me you don’t look) to reach…

Black Velvet

Only a few weeks ago, I besmirched champagne cocktails, questioning a man’s sexuality because he’d ordered a “girl drink.” Now, however, I must drink my words, because not only is Corridor 44 the swankiest, most posh and glamorous spot to hit Denver in the past year, but it’s come up…

Brix

Has anyone seen an escaped monkey? I’ve been scouring the papers for such information since a night at Brix (3000 East Third Avenue), when the little simian that has plagued periods of my drinking career was on the loose, relieving himself in my mouth after I passed out. (I’ve heard…

Saketini

Childless by Choice. I don’t hate children. In fact, at times I find them as cute as puppies. I love my niece and nephew even when they are terrors, and I’ve developed relationships with some of my friends’ children that are so enjoyable, I’d actually consider taking care of them…

Darcy’s Bistro and Pub

We here at the Institute of Drinking Studies regard alcohol as a wonderful tool in the battle against age. With a few on board, it’s easy to recall those days when you felt invincible and even your most moronic antics seemed funny to you and occasionally a few other people…

Jolly Rancher

U-ROC. Every bartender should have a signature drink — and I’m not talking about a “great” Cosmo. How about a little originality? And while we’re at it, how about a cocktail that isn’t so sweet it induces diabetes? I’m going to give the bartender at McLoughlin’s a tiny break, though,…

Pour House Pub

When women get together after a long separation, their discussion seems to focus on who’s pregnant, married, divorced, cheating and/or fat. Men discuss who’s seducing their secretaries, how much money they’re making, the latest “sweet” deal they closed and who’s fat. Guys, on the other hand, pick up right where…

Basil Mojito

Careful, dude, it’s creeper weed. A football player named Mike always showed up to our high school English class with about a dozen assorted candy bars. He’d start out looking a little squinty-eyed, then gradually become stoned out of his gourd as the class went on. Mike also sold pot:…

Soiled Dove

Denver narrowly missed a cataclysmic disaster last week. “I almost walked out of my place without my pants,” JP confessed as he clambered into the cab. We were headed toward LoDo and Above the Dove (1949 Market Street), the rooftop bar above the Soiled Dove that overlooks Coors Field. In…

Black Pearl Cosmo

Black Pearl is the newest gem on Old South Pearl, a street full of jewels. The restaurant is beautiful, highly stylized, sleek and modern, with Zen-like enhancements — the wall of backlit bottles in the bar, for example, and the patio with a community table complete with an ultra-cool fire…

Wyman’s #5

When the planets align, Institute members answer that primal call to go out and get overserved — no matter what else may be going on, and no matter who drops the organizational ball. On this particular evening, it was JP and me — but our group somehow still convened at…

Drink of the Week

When I heard there was a new Vietnamese restaurant named Parallel 17, I wondered why anyone would saddle a place with such a horrible reminder of war. I also wondered if the owners would have gone with the same name if the restaurant were located on Monroe Street instead of…

Drunk of the Week

No one here at the Institute of Drinking Studies is dumb enough to admit that he is a virgin. In fact, I’d guess that every representative has had carnal knowledge of someone, and I’d also guess that most members are fairly prolific, if not proficient. I base this on a…

Drink of the Week

Never trust a guy who drinks a Bubble-Lee. Over the years, I’ve adopted a couple of clear-cut rules about guys. They must be willing to suffer through at least one theatrical performance a season and at least pretend to enjoy it. They cannot have more piercings than I do. They…

Drunk of the Week

I am a big fan of Mexican culture. It’s brought us Taco Bell (a legal form of crack), sombreros for any occasion, MTV Spring Break in Cancún and uncounted Girls Gone Wild videos, as well as the Latin Representative to the Institute of Drinking Studies. But some imports from south…

Drink of the Week

The second I walked into Steak au Poivre, I expected a diminutive man in a white suit to run past me, pointing into the air and screaming “Da plane, da plane!” The ambience of the place is very Fantasy Island, complete with wicker chairs, a big palm in the corner…

Drunk of the Week

We all pine for simpler days, like those in high school when our only real worries were what to wear, who was engaging in heavy petting with whom (or, better yet, actually doing the deed), who you were going to stuff in his locker that day, when you were going…

Drink of the Week

Shake it like you got it. Herman’s Hideaway was the first live-music venue I got into with a fake ID. As a Denver teen who hadn’t traveled much, I imagined that it was our version of New York’s legendary CBGB, the thoroughly hip and cool place to see up-and-coming bands…

Drunk of the Week

Planning a wedding is a big job for a bride and her family. They have to decide on the service, the flowers, the wedding-party members, the date, the reception hall, the menu, the availability of alcohol, the invitations, the tuxedos, the bridesmaid dresses that will never be worn again, the…