Oceanaire Martini

I would have liked living in the 1930s. Big bands headed by Duke Ellington, Cab Calloway, Benny Goodman, Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey and Count Basie were in their heyday, playing at famous clubs like the Savoy and the Cotton Club. And it was the golden age of luxurious ocean liners:…

Barricuda’s

I have every intention of drinking on my first trip to Barricuda’s (1078 Ogden Street), but it doesn’t happen. I glance longingly at the beer taps — Swithwicks? No. Guinness? Huh-uh — but can’t talk myself into a cold one. I make eyes at a Bloody Mary two tables over…

B.J.’s Port

Ms. B.J. mumbles an apology to no one in particular because the beer’s not chilled enough, but Sean and I don’t mind. It’s already started to cool off outside, and we’re at B.J.’s Port, 2801 Welton Street, to enjoy ourselves, not complain. So we pour the contents of our first…

Tequila Pocket Shot

Take your best shot. A couple of Saturdays ago, a friend and I headed to the Kiowa Creek Sporting Club in Bennett, site of the Independence Institute’s ATF party, which celebrates alcohol, tobacco and firearms. But not necessarily in that order: Even though I wasn’t driving, I’d been given strict…

Ace-Hi Tavern

It’s never been about slumming. Or kitsch. Or camp. No, Barbara Middlebrook drinks at the Ace-Hi Tavern — a dive bar right down to its shag carpet and cash-only policy — for the same reason that she looks forward to walks down Main Street during breaks from her job at…

Colorado Bulldog

Fear of flying. There are a few places in town I’ve always wanted to try, but they don’t seem like the kind of spot a woman should visit alone. And so every time I drove past the Piper Inn, I felt like I’d had my wings clipped. I’d been driving…

The Irish Hound

Everybody has a really good first bar story. Often it’s a tale about a group celebrating somebody’s 21st birthday by seeing just how close people can get to death and still be fine the next morning. Sometimes it’s a saga about using a bad fake ID to sneak into the…

Grapefruit Margarita

Wasted youth. When I first walked into Centro, the reconcepting of Cafe Rhumba by Dave Query (who also owns Lola, Jax, West End Tavern and Zolo), I immediately knew that I would like it. Even though the food at Rhumba was far from stellar, I always enjoyed the place: Query…

The Blue Walleye

If you ask a real fisherman, he’ll tell you that walleye is one of the best eating fish. It’s not a particularly pretty fish, but it’s the reason that God made beer, beer batter and Shore Lunch. I’ve never been deep-sea fishing, but fighting a fish while you’re strapped into…

Horny Purple People Eater Margarita

A change will do you good — and the changes taking place in Denver are amazing. Fifteen years ago, La Fiesta tried to expand from its weekday, lunch-only schedule into the evening hours, but it just didn’t work. Back then, the Curtis Park neighborhood was not even approaching a transitional…

City Grille

There are many unanswered questions in this world. For example, why don’t heavier things fall faster? Why is there any debate about Ward Churchill’s job status? Why didn’t Sanjaya get voted off quicker? Why do I know the name Sanjaya? How do I stop my daughter from reaching puberty? Why…

Bloody Mary

I’ll trade you the T206 Honus Wagner for a crazy waiter. My friends and I trade bad waiter and waitress stories like baseball cards, and though I will always love Benny’s, the bad waiter stories are so plentiful here that they’re comparable to a no-name Rockies relief pitcher in the…

Milwaukee Street Tavern

It isn’t often that I have no desire to go out (though it seems to happen more and more as I “mature”), and the other night was one of those rare occasions when I just wanted to park my butt on the couch, crack open a beer and contemplate religion…

Pint’s Pub

I’m pretty sure it was Albert Einstein who said that matter cannot be created or destroyed — or maybe it was Bill Nye the Science Guy. Either way, at some point in our academic careers, we all learned that this was true sometime, just as we learned that heavier things…

Michelada

Run, Forrest, run! The only time I run is when someone is chasing me (if then), and perhaps because of my unwillingness to run, I’m fascinated by people who do — particularly the freakish marathon runners. So when my friends suggested that we meet at Mezcal at 6:30 a.m. to…

Kentucky Sweet Tea

I imagine that a true baseball fan would be blissful at meeting Babe Ruth’s great-grandson. Politicos probably panic when they’re introduced to a Kennedy scion. Brits blatantly blanch when they see that little convict Prince Harry. So when I met Frederick Booker Noe III, I was speechless. Freddy, as I…

Ship Tavern

My computer’s dictionary defines a “tavern” as a place that sells beer and other drinks and sometimes serves food. I would agree with this for a start, but a real tavern is so much more. A real tavern is in the upper Midwest. A real tavern serves Tombstone pizza cooked…

The Bulldog Bar

Although I’ve tried to systematize my life, the truth is that I’m organizationally handicapped. So when I saw the pricing sign behind the bar at the Bulldog, I was astounded by the brilliance of the concept. Kelly-green dots on bottles meant they were $6, Day-Glo orange meant $5, and so…

Hapa Sushi Grill and Sake Bar

Relations between men and women have many unresolved issues. There’s constant bitching about the quantity and quality of sex. Also, no couple on earth can agree on a reasonable definition of “clean.” Guys know something is “clean” if they’ve sprayed a liquid on it, then wiped it up with a…

Asian Pear Mojito

A guy hugged me recently, then looked shocked. “After living on the West Coast,” he confessed, “hugging someone with real breasts feels funny.” Chain restaurants are the cultural equivalent of fake boobs. They used to be few and far between, but now, like breast implants, chain restaurants are everywhere. And…

Sushi Tazu

I don’t know if it’s the wasabi, the gallons of alcohol consumed or simply the social act of gathering over raw fish, but something about our sushi runs makes the Institute of Drinking Studies wax poetic. We should videotape the proceedings so that we can later review them and figure…

Jim Beam and Coke

While enjoying an economical Jim Beam and Coke ($2 all day, every day) at the Stadium Inn, my friend Terri told me that she’d enjoyed her first legal cocktail at that very bar in 1975, as she celebrated her 21st birthday. But the Stadium was around long before that. In…