Snake Bite

The Viper stands perfectly still, her coiled body poised over a corner of table 1 at the Wynkoop Brewing Company. Her right arm is tucked back, her hand holding the cue by her waist. Her left arm extends over the faded green felt, fingers threaded around the cue tip. Brown…

Off Limits

The wine kept flowing at last weekend’s First Friday gallery openings, despite whispers that police might bust those establishments that dared to serve up swill without a liquor license. At last month’s festivities, Dina Castillo, owner of the D.C. Gallery on Broadway, found herself on the wrong side of the…

What’s So Funny

Were What’s So Funny to sponsor a sports stadium, it would no doubt be the greatest venue in the land, and the funniest. Seating just under 450,000 — so we could rent it out to China for organ-harvesting, if need be — the stadium would be a bastion of humor…

The Message

Charles Leaf sees a correlation between the five years he spent in the Marine Corps and his current work as an investigative reporter for Fox-owned Channel 31. “I believe it’s an important calling to serve the public, whether it’s serving your country or your community,” he says. As these remarks…

Horsepower Versus Horse Manure?

Just for grins, John Elway’s handsome new saloon in Cherry Creek offers something called a “Smashburger” — a nice hunk of prime steak that’s run through the grinder, knocked into an edible shape, expertly broiled and served without a roll. Nine bucks. Wonder if Elway was thinking about his old…

Letters to the Editor

Watch Your Language To PC or not PC: Regarding the January 6 Off Limits: In a letter dated August 29, 1878, Raphael J. Moses answered a man who verbally attacked him in a political campaign by calling him “that Hebrew” in the following way, in part, by saying, “…had you…

Building for the Future

Peter Park has big plans for Parktown: a vibrant downtown surrounded by distinctive neighborhoods; a comprehensive public transportation system of bus, train, maybe subway. “The ingredients to make good urbanism,” he calls them. He plans to mix the impressive architecture of museums, office buildings and townhomes with the scaled-down charm…

Let’s See What Develops

In Denver, the best intentions often go astray — so you can only imagine how wrong the worst intentions go. Actually, you don’t need to imagine anything: You can just look at the Denver of today, created through a series of efforts to push the city toward the bolder and…

Off Limits

Krystle Clear Sunday night’s silly but inoffensive Dynasty: The Making of a Guilty Pleasure was indeed a guilty pleasure for most TV viewers — the video equivalent of a Cheez Doodle. But the ABC flick contained a nasty surprise for Denver boosters, since this city — where the Dynasty series…

What’s So Funny?

Perhaps the only real benefits of attending an uptight bastion of screaming white assholes like Graland Country Day School — outside of the gaggle of MILFs who assembled at the gate every day, MILFs who would rather let you and their children play with automatic weapons than properly monitor you…

On the Record

John DeAndrea’s sculpture “Linda” has been back on display at the Denver Art Museum for the past few weeks, and although the piece is 21 years old, it’s still one of the most requested items in the museum’s holdings. The lifelike female nude made of polyvinyl is sensitive to light,…

Read Alert!

Perhaps you’ve seen John Madden around before. He’s pretty hard to miss, standing at crowded intersections with his bizarre hand-painted signs. Maybe you’ve noticed him at Colfax Avenue and Colorado Boulevard, broadcasting this timely message: “Clinton Raped Juanita,” a reference to a six-year-old scandal involving Juanita Broderick and Bill Clinton…

Slippery Slopes

The skier was shooting downhill while a snowmobile driven by a young Vail Resorts worker was speeding uphill. At a blind spot on the slope, they collided. Sound familiar? Except this skier wasn’t thirteen-year-old Ashley Stamp, who died December 19 from injuries she sustained when she slammed into a snowmobile…

Letters to the Editor

About Your Boozepaper Trouble everywhere: Gee, what’s a girl to do? Westword, you did a great job trashing the booze queens of Tri-Delt in David Holthouse’s “Girl Trouble,” in the December 16 issue, but I couldn’t help but notice the cover of your New Year’s Eve Guide insert in the…

Game On

Although many moms and dads consider video games to be little more than electronic babysitters for the 21st century, David Thomas, who writes about the medium for the Denver Post, believes there’s more to them than that. Much more. “I decided a while back to take video games seriously,” Thomas…

Terms of Endearment

Denver cut a strange psychological profile this past year, as schizo as a Colorado winter. The Nuggets filled the Pepsi Center, and the Broncos fumbled. Suburbia got hip, and Colfax got somewhat civilized. It was a good year for the young and upwardly mobile, and a bad year for homeless…

Strange but True

The Letter of the Law In February, state representative Jack Pommer of Boulder introduced the “Cellphone Peeping Tom Bill,” which made it illegal to photograph another person’s private parts without his or her consent. A Lakewood Girl Scout troop successfully lobbied legislators to designate yule marble as the official state…

Hall of Shame

The University of Colorado The University of Colorado at Boulder received so many black marks this year, it’s hard to focus on just one. The September death of eighteen-year-old frat pledge Lynn “Gordie” Bailey made national headlines and stoked the school’s reputation as a bastion of wanton drunkenness — despite…

Maxed Out

On a muggy July afternoon, Matthew Romero hit the yard of the Tallahatchie County Correctional Facility for the first time. He was looking forward to an hour of exercise in a metal cage. After spending 37 days locked down in a two-man cell, taken out only two to three times…

Going Off

At most private prisons, staffers earn far less than state correctional officers, receive less training and are far more likely to quit in their first year on the job. At the Crowley County Correctional Facility outside of Olney Springs, operated by the Corrections Corporation of America, the average salary is…

Clothes Call

Christmas is coming, and Meggie Sobel is holding court in the food court at FlatIron Crossing, a chattering alley where weary consumers, strung out from the hunt, commiserate over plates of fluorescent food. Sipping an Orange Julius at a table near the customer-service desk, Sobel talks to a crimson-haired woman…

Off Limits

In the middle of the night, phones suddenly started ringing in homes across Denver. “This is the Denver Police Department,” a voice said when anyone picked up. “Are you sober?” If people answered affirmatively, the cop informed them that someone they knew — a housemate, lover, husband, wife and/or drinking…