Just minutes before the kickoff of Super Bowl XXXVIII, John decides to fill up his plate with Swedish meatballs and cold cuts at a game-day party in an Aurora home. “Sorry,” he murmurs as he cuts in front of the TV screen, intruding on everyone’s field of vision. John is…
What Would Jesus Do? He’d raise a glass: Regarding Marty Jones’s “Salvation by the Glass,” in the February 5 issue: A thousand blessings on such a cool church! Jesus always hung out with the “disreputable” people when he was on Earth — I think he’d fit right in with this…
Shawna Rush was a small-town girl who was taught to respect other people, to mind her elders and to give selflessly. Growing up, she and her three sisters ate supper with their parents, Roy and Johnanna Rush, every night that they didn’t have basketball or volleyball practice. They went to…
There are three reasons why many people don’t go to church: The sermons are often dull, the music’s usually antique, and you can’t drink beer there. But Church at the Bar atones for all these sins. For the past six months, Church at the Bar — presented by the local…
1. Regardless of what happens with his sexual-assault case, Kobe Bryant has already suffered this punishment: A. Loss of Shaq’s friendship. B. Hair loss. C. Loss of a multimillion-dollar McDonald’s burger-chompin’ campaign. D. Loss of a cameo role in Lost in Translation. 2. Jeffrey Shapiro, the former tabloid journalist who…
Many of the changes that have taken place in this country since 9/11, including color-coded terror-alert warnings, Toby Keith’s record-sales spike and the growing popularity of Saddam Hussein lice-inspection footage, are obvious and up front. But other alterations linger in the shadows, known only to those they directly affect. Such…
For someone who has two Super Bowl rings and his own football team and who fronts seventeen car dealerships, John Elway is a pretty modest guy. All right, so maybe the activity the Colorado Crush labors at is not really football, but you get the idea. Elway is not the…
Spam on Wry Spam I am: Regarding Alan Prendergast’s “Mr. Spam Man,” in the January 29 issue, and with a tip of the hat to naughty language and apologies to Dr. Seuss: My ISP is clogged and crammed With tons of Mr. Richter’s spam. The latest diet pill and porn,…
FWD: SCOTT, DON’T SUFFER BETWEEN PAYCHECKS! THINK BIG! In Scott Richter’s world, size matters. Richter knows that Americans like things big. Bigger penis, bigger breasts. Big savings. Big chance to win big. Think big about the bigness people crave, and big profits could be yours. Richter is a big fellow…
A year after Westword broke the story of the biggest scandal in Air Force Academy history, the school’s new leaders are working tirelessly to implement programs and alter a climate that’s been described as hostile toward women. In fact, they hope that one day the academy will be regarded as…
Women who say they were raped by fellow cadets at the United States Air Force Academy will finally get a chance to tell their stories directly to the people most able to help them: the Senate Armed Services Committee. Jessica Brakey, a cadet who was kicked out of the academy…
1. Colorado is looming large in the national elections. What connection ties Democratic revive-nik John Kerry to the Centennial State? A. He owns a ski chalet at Sol Vista. B. He attended Regis University the year before Bill Murray did. C. He was born here. D. He was stationed at…
Off Limits got called to the principal’s office Tuesday morning. To talk about vaginas. Patti Bippus, principal at the Denver School of the Arts, had refused to talk over the phone about the students performing Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues for their senior project, insisting instead that we come over to…
Creekside Sports has been in the horsehide-swatting business since Gerald Ford was president. Softball in Denver has been around in one form or another since bell-bottoms were hip — the first time. And Crestmoor Park Softball Association opened its doors when John Travolta was dancing in white leisure suits. Now…
Erik Dyce, director of marketing for the Denver Division of Theatres & Arenas, is paid to boost Red Rocks Amphitheatre, and he takes the task seriously. He’s currently lobbying every bureaucrat and elected representative within the sound of his voice to put Red Rocks on the back of the Colorado…
F Marks the Spot The real thing: A couple of comments about the January 22 issue: Patricia Calhoun’s “F-Bombed” — far fucking out! “Just the ‘Fax, Man” — the street of life and dreams caught with incredibly sharp yet sensitive ink. Such a mental lift to get to the Mile…
Amid the nourishing chaos of city life, we urban dwellers find ourselves brain-deep in startling juxtapositions. Mid-morning one Tuesday, a formation of squawking geese sweeps its shadow across a used-bookstore window, dimming the dog-eared covers of The Corrections, by Jonathan Franzen, and Dead Souls, by Nikolai Gogol. An instant later,…
Mike Miles has been getting used to posing for photos, talking into microphones and even kissing babies. Now state Democratic Party leaders are starting to get used to Mike Miles. And they’d better: Miles is perhaps their last best hope to beat incumbent U.S. Senator Ben Nighthorse Campell in the…
1. Ted, United Airlines’ low-cost sibling, is set for takeoff next month from Denver International Airport. What can’t you find now on its cutesy Web site? A. Electronic refrigerator magnets of states that Ted will be flying to. B. A digital coloring book. C. A list of famous Teds, searchable…
The images that recently upset Fort Collins Mayor Ray Martinez and University of Northern Colorado professor Junius Peake aren’t exactly sophisticated. A sketch of Martinez rendered by cartoonist Nathan Thrailkill and first published December 11 in the Rocky Mountain Bullhorn, a Fort Collins weekly, is simple and rough-edged, while a…
In the beginning, Rashiem Jefferson couldn’t get any fights. There were no other seventy-pound fourteen-year-olds in North Philadelphia willing to put on boxing gloves and rumble, so Rashiem would fill his pocket with the fight-gym tokens they gave him at school and go down to Joe Frazier’s and hit the…
Quit Monkeying Around Wally world: I find it interesting that in Patricia Calhoun’s “The Apes of Wrath” piece in the January 15 issue, she wrote that she had never before visited a Wal-Mart. That seems hard to believe! I always find it interesting that people condemn every Wal-Mart that is…
