Audio By Carbonatix
… and I’ve got nothing. No jokes. No snarky comments. What has the state of politics come to when the VPOTUS — not exactly a man known as a tough target, not exactly a man who flies under the journalistic radar — comes to my town and does absolutely fuck-all that’s worth making fun of?
Seriously, Joe? No train stories? No discussions of hiding your loved ones in a bunker until every flu germ is eradicated? No open-mike F-bombs? You’re killin’ me, man. I’ve got a blog to fill, and all you can do is come to Denver, give a speech, eat some barbecue and act all vice-presidential without even once falling down the stairs or making fun of Indians or offering to leg-wrestle one of the dinosaurs in the Museum of Nature & Science “Prehistoric Journey” exhibit? Just think of all the ridiculous things you could’ve “accidentally” said while trying to pronounce the word diplodocus…
Dildocaucus.
Dookysaurus.
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You missed your chance, Joe.
But at least Biden chose a historically good barbecue restaurant for his off-book catfish run. He rolled into M&D’s yesterday afternoon, looking to get some ‘cue in him and press a little flesh. And while M&D’s is not one of my all-time favorites, it is a solidly good spot and has all the down-home, blue-collar savor that Biden seems to live on.
Had he gone to Brothers BBQ? Well, then I would’ve had something to complain about.
At least Biden’s visit to Mack and Daisy Shead’s million-dollar barbecue shack reminded me of one other important thing: the cornbread at M&D’s. Last week, I put together a list of all my favorite places in town to find the various fixings for a proper barbecue blow-out. This was inspired by the fact that, while eating at The Q, I was disappointed that I couldn’t get any corn bread to go with my ribs. And while, on that list, I plugged in Jim ‘n Nick’s as my fave spot for cornbread (in muffin form), I forgot that M&D’s has always had fantastic cornbread. Matter of fact, I think it’s probably the best thing they do there — especially once you get it home and, in the privacy of your own kitchen, slather it in butter and pop it in the microwave for a few seconds.
Something tells me, though, that Joe Biden probably wasn’t wandering around his hotel suite last night in his underpants, plate of M&D’s cornbread in one hand, stick of butter in the other, menacing Secret Service agents and demanding access to a microwave. And that’s a shame, really. Because that would’ve made for a great story.
Maybe next time, huh, Joe?
