A kidnapping word to the wise

Who says size doesn't matter? Seen in a Park Meadows parking lot this past weekend: good advice for rich people afraid of being seized and held for ransom. Apparently security guards and high-tech alarms aren't nearly as effective as eating two boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes at every meal...
By Michael Roberts
Carbonatix Pre-Player Loader

Audio By Carbonatix

Who says size doesn’t matter?

Seen in a Park Meadows parking lot this past weekend: good advice for rich people afraid of being seized and held for ransom. Apparently security guards and high-tech alarms aren’t nearly as effective as eating two boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes at every meal for the next year or so. — Michael Roberts

Keep Westword Free

We’re $2,500 away from our spring campaign goal!
We’re aiming to raise $20,000. Your support ensures Westword can continue watching out for you and our community. No paywall. Always accessible. Daily online and weekly in print.

SUPPORT US TODAY
$20,000
Notice of Collection | Terms | Privacy

Keep Westword Free

No paywall. Always accessible. We’re always watching out for you and our community — but we need your help to keep us going strong. Help keep Westword free and in print every week.

Select how much you'd like to contribute

/month
Support Us Today

Michael Roberts began his career with Westword in 1990 as music editor. In 1999, he took on a new role, full-time media reporter, as author of a column called The Message. In 2008, he became the lead writer for Westword‘s news blog, The Latest Word, a position he held until January 2023. Michael continues to freelance for Westword, covering everything from business to sports and the media; he also contributes to Jazziz, a national music magazine. He holds a bachelor’s degree from what is now Colorado Mesa University and master’s degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and Northwestern University.

michaelrobertscolo@gmail.com

Loading latest posts...