Rapscallion Connor Ward Absconds With Sword at Renaissance Festival, Reportedly Poggle’d

Forsooth, the festivities of ye olde Colorado Renaissance Festival were greatly upset this Satyr-Daye by the young scallywag Connor Ward, aged 22, when the knave allegedly disturbe’d a jousting match, seize’d a sword from a nearbye haystack & absconde’d therefrom, with various citizenry in close pursuite, finally to be tackle’d and mightily detain’d by a brave & costume’d wench.

“I thought they were playing until she took him down in a headlock,” the Denver Post was tolde by freelance photographer Steve Chapman, who claime’d to have witnessed the misadventure wholly & without breach; Chapman also claime’d the wench impeded Ward’s further flight until sheriff’s deputies could be summon’d to the scene. Chapman’s account is nevertheless dispute’d by ye police reporte, which, according to Douglas County Sheriff’s Office spokes-damsel Deborah Sherman, avows that Ward was obstruct’d not by a wench, but by his owne companion.

Verily, upon the summon of deputies, the rogue alleg’dly attempte’d to engage the officers in fisticuffs & was promptly dispatch’d & helde on charges of attempte’d assault on a police officer, resisting arrest & theft. The scoundrel was apparently drunke. A full police reporte has not yet been release’d.

The Colorado Renaissance Festival runs weekends (Saturdays and Sundays only) through August 2 in Larkspur. Find more information here…and leave your swords at home.