Wake-Up Call: Aspen’s “Big Money” mess

Forget Charlie Sheen. The biggest scandal in Aspen these days involves Dan Sheridan, a 44-year-old singer musician who’s lived in that mountain town more than twenty years, doesn’t like some of the changes he’s seen, and describes them very eloquently in his song “Big Money.”

But while Sheridan croons that he “won’t give up on this town/Won’t give up on my friends,” Aspen Skiing Co., which owns Sneaky’s, the club where Sheridan was singing on New Year’s Day when an Aspen veep heard the song, was ready to give up on him: Sheridan lost his gig.

Aspen Skiing Co. would probably like to ban Secrets of Aspen from the VH1 schedule, too.

When the public — what remains of it in Aspen — protested, Aspen Skiing reconsidered, and said it would welcome Sheridan back at Sneaky’s. Although he may not be allowed to sing “Big Money.”

So, for the record, here are the lyrics too shocking for corporate Aspen:

Well I was walking my dog down the old walking trail
When I ran into a post-it sign of pending future sale
Some mogul who feels he should
Build a mansion in the mountains his cabin in the woods
They come here from Miami
They come here from LA
They bring a part of the city, that’ll never go away
Like a fear of strangers, accelerated time
Sound of car alarms in a town without crime
Like plain wooden fences, controlled security
Setting up borders where they never used to be
Down in the graves you can hear the miners say
Big money ruins everything

Well it happened in Aspen
And down in Santa Fe
It happens everywhere when the locals move away
They can’t afford to live here, they can’t afford the rent
Unless they win the lottery or live in a tent
I think big money sucks
Please write that down
Please take a look what it did to this town
Trophy houses, trophy wives, trophy people leading trophy lives
Down in the graves you can hear the miners say
Big money ruins everything

Say goodbye to all the artists and people who can ski
Say hello to private golf clubs and elective surgery
Well I think I’ll build a billboard
At the entrance of this town
If you’re here to prove how rich you are
Please just turn around
Please turn around, high tail and run
You’ve probably already ruined where you’re coming from

So I went into the hardware store
But it has been replaced
By a boutique for trophy wives
With a reconstructed face
And it only sells handbags
Stuff you’ll never need
Like fine Italian shoes
And tasteful jewelry
So we blame it on the landlords
Blame it all on greed
Blame it on the excess
Of the nouveau riche
Down in the graves you can hear the miners say
Big money ruins everything

How did this happen
How did it occur
Women driving Hummers
Men wearing fur
Now I sing at corporate parties
Make ’em feel like a kid
Because I play acoustic guitar
Just like John Denver did
But they don’t listen to my words
Words that I’m singing
I’m here to fill the void
Between cell phones ringing

I recently found a letter
That I wrote to myself
Said Man if you get old and bitter
Better move somewhere else
I ain’t going nowhere
Won’t give up on this town
Won’t give up on my friends
Who somehow stick around
Down in the graves you can hear the miners say
Big money ruins everything
Big money ruins everything

Women at the Caribou
With liposuction hips
And in the name of balance
They re-inflate their lips
Down in the graves you can hear the miners say
Big money ruins everything
Big money ruins everything
Big money ruins everything
Big money ruins everything