You’re new in town, and you need a handy guide on how to have the quintessential Denver summer. To help out, we’ve compiled a list of the ten things you must experience if you’re a Denver newbie.
Yes, May is officially National Masturbation Month — although, seriously, people: Isn’t every month Masturbation Month? Here are ten moments in which masturbation took the spotlight in the mainstream media, both here in Denver and across the country, and for better or for worse. And not to worry, our list does not include that time your parents walked into your bedroom at the exactly wrong moment…
May in Denver is nothing but transition. May can be anything. May will be what you want it to be, or at least what it wants to be. May is snow and sun, outdoors and in, the promise of warmth to come and a reminder of the winter (that wasn’t). May is that friend that always agrees with you, even when you know for a fact that he or she definitely doesn’t. So yeah…May is great to hang with, but really, you can’t trust it.
A public school lunches have never been what one might call fine-dining, but for the most part, we’ve been able to correctly refer to it as food. That could change on May 1, when the USDA reveals its new “flexible food” standards. Here are ten reasonable options
This month, an environmental group called Colorado Moms Know Best (no, seriously) and the Girl Scouts teamed up to school the State Legislature and lieutenant governor on climate change challenges facing the 21st century. For doing this, they got not only a little experience in talking with our state’s elected officials — but also earned a new Climate Change patch.
Today, April 7, is the home opener for the Colorado Rockies, which means that downtown — and Coors Field — will be flooded with fans hungry for peanuts, Cracker Jacks, and a season that goes down a little more smoothly than those in the recent past. Right now, only the venue for the Rockies is really a sure thing, as the team just signed a deal to stay at the facility on Blake. Everything else is an open question. Will the pitching staff step up? Will the infield gel in the same way it did back in 2007? Will Bud Black lead the team down a better road? All excellent questions — that even Rockies players themselves might have.
April is the cruelest month, or so says the poet T.S. Eliot. But good ol’ T.S. never visited Denver in April, when it’s sunny and potentially snowy, where the wind is blowing in the warmth of the coming summer, and when people are inadvisably starting to wear Crocs, which go against all sense of fashion and decorum. (Actually, that last part is pretty cruel. Score one for the poet.)
This past weekend, United Airlines cited a totally not-made-up ban on spandex and refused to let two young girls board flight in Denver because they were wearing leggings. (Sorry, Spider-Man. Put on some freaking slacks.) Then it doubled-down on the decision, somehow connecting it to the fact that the young ladies were flying as “pass travelers,” meaning they were there as guests of employees and had to adhere to the no-spandex policy. This public relations incompetence rivals that of Sean Spicer.
Developers are getting manic about renaming parts of our booming city, sometimes for easy reference, sometimes to boost property values. Recently, RiNo leaders were startled by a proposal to give Brighton Boulevard a shiny new moniker that will reflect its status as a gateway to the city; they’re still trying to put the brakes on that.
After the success (meaning: lack of violent uprising) that was Denver’s response to Cherry Creek Mall charging an hourly rate for parking, the newest entity to embrace the idea is Boulder’s Chautauqua Park. The plan, which Boulder is hoping to pilot this summer, would charge drivers $2.50 an hour (which is reportedly double the rate for parking in the rest of the city of Boulder) to park not just in the lot at the main trailhead, but along Baseline Road and even in the surrounding residential neighborhood.
Don’t let the 70-degree weather fool you: winter isn’t over. Oh, enjoy your shorts-and-tank-top days while you can, for sure. Take the dog for a walk, check out all the shades of browns in the parks, put those boots away and break out the sneakers. But chances are good that there will come a night or a weekend when winter reminds us here in Denver that it’s not dead yet. And there will come a reckoning.Fortunately, all you need to do to survive that reckoning is to fire up the Netflix queue, and check out some of the stuff—all currently available to stream—that you’ve been missing while you were outside gallivanting in the weird Winter (and early Spring!) warmth.
Usually at this time, we’re ready to emerge from our homes after a winter of cold and snow and ice; this year, the good weather is getting a little ho-hum. But it’s still spring, dammit. The season — and all it brings with it — has officially sprung. What that means here in Colorado is mountain flowers, warmer temps and a host of Mile-High signs that the seasons are officially turning from nasty to nice…including these ten.
When RTD’s “Dumb Ways to Die” ad campaign got a little too real — it’s tough to laugh at little Edward-Gorey-meets-balloon-animals when there are people actually dying on the tracks — the signs on many of the trains were switched to a new concept: Don’t Be Jimmy.
Two things are happening this week: one, a House committee will debate HB17-1226, which is a bipartisan attempt to normalize the clocks in Colorado and stay on Daylight Saving Time permanently. And two, having just suffered through another spring forward weekend, everyone is going to be pretty damn cranky.
March is a tricky bitch, especially here in Denver. Sure, other parts of the country will see significant swings in weather in the month of March, and Colorado is known for a seriously random weather element almost any time of the year — but March is notorious for alternating between snow, springtime and snow again. Rain, snow, ice, sun, shorts weather one day, parkas and plows the next. Anything goes in Denver in March.
It was a good year for geeks, 1977. Dungeons and Dragons was just hitting the mainstream (and starting to be attacked as evil…which, of course, only fueled its popularity). The Atari 2600 was released, and that was pretty much it for going outside to play for the next decade. And a little kids’ movie called Star Wars was just about to change the world. And in the middle of it all, GenghisCon was born here in Denver. Forty years later, here are ten reasons to celebrate GhenghisCon.
A recent spate of tire-slashing incidents in the Stapleton area prompted someone to start a GoFundMe campaign to (somehow) help reimburse those affected by the vandalism. While this seems nice on the surface — and we’re sure the initial impetus was positive — it also seems remarkably insular and insensitive, even coming from Stapleton.
Sunday is the Super Bowl, as most of us know…and many football fans in Denver just can’t muster up the desire to see the spectacle this year. (If you’re one of the few Falcons fans in town, good luck on Sunday. If you’re one of the ever fewer local Patriots fans…well, what does it feel like to embrace the Dark Side?) Let’s just agree up front that there’s no shame in skipping a game that’s being played by one team you don’t care much about, and another that you actively despise. So what else is there to do this Sunday, to take advantage of the smaller crowds? Lots of things — but let’s start with these seven.
It’s good that February is the shortest month of the year. If you think about it, were you given the choice of any of the months to limit to just four short weeks, you’d probably choose it anyway: it’s freezing outside, all the holidays are a good month in the rear-view, and the only “occasion” for the month is Valentine’s Day—which, let’s face it, is something of a racket. So here are ten things you should keep in mind, here at Mile-High, for the month of February. Stay warm, and stay classy, Denver.
So the Broncos missed the playoffs, and to add insult to injury, the Patriots (and Denver persona-non-grata Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and roster-destroyer Josh McDaniels) are favored to win it. That means that as a Denver fan, you’re probably not all that jazzed about seeing the Super Bowl this coming Sunday. Sure, you feel a responsibility to watch—it’s the Super Bowl, and you’re no fair-weather fan. But still…it’s gonna be tough.In the spirit of still showing up for the Super Bowl and its related festivities, here’s a list of ideas that could help get you through Super Bowl Sunday—after which, remember, this last season is just a bad memory. Here’s to muddling through!
Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper just returned from an international gathering in Davos, Switzerland, and rumors are swirling that he’s considering a 2020 run for president.
The Women’s March on Denver broke through the glass ceiling of all attendance expectations on Saturday, January 21, drawing huge crowds that wound up tripling the initial estimates of 40,000 attendees (and the count could grow). One day after Donald Trump’s inauguration, which itself disappointed in terms of numbers, the American people were clearly determined to make a statement. What that statement was, of course, varied from person to person and sign to sign. Some were traditional, some were profane, some were poignant — and some were beautifully geeky. After all, while you’re speaking your mind and participating in the democratic process, you might as well let your freak flags fly, too. In that spirit, here are the top ten nerd-tastic signs we saw at the Women’s March on Denver.
